Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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