try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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