whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
