'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
