Where is the hickey?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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