i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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