we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize