You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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