Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
