I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
