Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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