These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
