something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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