Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
