Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
