I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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