420 ftw
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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