maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
love makes seman taste better
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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