can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
