I am puke
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
