when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
