this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
