She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
