I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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