I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
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