Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
