I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
