Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
