His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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