if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
