they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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