Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
