If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
