Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
