How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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