Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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