doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
