Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
