That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
