He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
