Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
