A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
