What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
