That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
