Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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