Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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