Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
