Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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