I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
