tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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