It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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