How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
