The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What a dumb baby whore.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize