We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
