If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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