we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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