Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
