From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
