All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
