I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you win again, gameday.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
