I don't usually arrange sex via text message
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
