My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
