All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
