we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
