Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
