i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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